Pride…why so many of us are guarded when it comes to love and act as if we’re cool when we get hurt. We can act like we don’t care that you blew us off and didn’t care to call or that you led us on for so long only to leave abruptly because you got scared and couldn’t just say it. It took me a long time to let my guard down, I know this story so very well.
I wasn’t going to let that guy, the one I fell in love with, who ended up falling for a girl that could have been my twin, know that it bothered me, a lot. I was the real love of his life! I mean no one has ever inspired me to write poetry until him, at that point no man had ever inspired me. Was it real love? Probably not. But there was something about him.
If I knew then what I know now I would have told him the truth as I understood it. That when we were together I was so happy. I loved spending time with him, we had so many memorable adventures, it was crazy, really fun times. I would feel exposed, but it would be much easier then pretending.
If we learned that being honest with our feelings to our person of interest i.e. husband, wife, girlfriend, boyfriend, lover or crush, perhaps – we wouldn’t be constantly scratching our head wondering what is going on here! Excuses, lies, anything other then saying “wow, that really hurt me” or whatever it is you feel but won’t give him/her the truth. Why? Because it feels awful and it’s rejection and isn’t that enough!
We play it cool, easier right? To them you send a message that you’re not interested and you get hurt regardless. Could it be that hard to let go of our “pride” in order to win? For me, it’s a battle I continue to struggle with as I push myself to change. This life doesn’t come with a do-over so we should tell people the truth, even if you can’t articulate it perfectly. It’s better then living in this state of constant misunderstanding. I think so anyway.