In your romantic relationships specifically, your attitude toward approaching issues big or small is just as important as your actions. Embracing core values will allow you to start living with more integrity, honesty, compassion and enthusiasm, which will breathe new life into your union. Below are ways to keep your relationship strong, healthy and lasting.
Own your part.
You are fully accountable for your relationship, which means there is no place for martyrdom. You are responsible for allowing your partner to treat you a certain way. When you stop seeing yourself as a victim and start seeing yourself as a fully competent force in your relationship, things will improve.
Remember the friendship that started it all.
When things get difficult, which they will, turn back the clock and recall what it was that started the friendship that matured into the beautiful, loving, intimate relationship you hopefully have now.
Acceptance is elemental.
Accept your partner for who he/she is, just as you would want someone to love and accept you. If you want to change everything about them, you may be looking for someone else. Move toward each other in acceptance and you will be content and succeed in your relationship.
Create a safe space for your partner.
You must bring the spirit of acceptance into affirmative, interactive action even when you feel compelled to be critical. Provide a nurturing atmosphere, one your partner will not want to abandon, and feel safe communicating in.
In arguments or disagreements, you must vow never use threats or ultimatums as a lever to manipulate and control your partner. This will stunt and eventually wear on your relationship and your partner will feel unsafe ever communicating with you for fear of judgment, threat or retaliation.
Check your frustrations at the door.
Resist the impulse to nit-pick your partner. Usually the negative things you perceive in your partner are often things you see in yourself. Once you acknowledge this, it will alter your actions entirely.
Be up front and forthright.
Nothing is worse than passive-aggressive comments, or incongruent communication of any kind. Express your feelings in a mature and responsible manner by being honest about your emotions, and be direct in what you want and need from your partner.
Do not let fear paralyze your life. Doing so will cause you to miss out on all of the things that make life beautiful and worth living. By putting yourself on the line, you have the chance of getting what you want. No risk guarantees no reward, and not to venture is to lose who you are.
Be happy instead of right.
Start evaluating the things you do in your relationship and see if they are working for you. For example, don’t be a know-it-all and try to one-up your partner. Be one another’s alliances. Choose actions that do not escalate hostility or resentment; instead use tolerance, compassion and understanding.
Put motion into your emotion.
You must turn the concept of love into a proactive behavior. You must require yourself and your relationship to truly be better.