If you’re anything like me, this picture feels lonely, familiar, and speaks volumes to the disconnect we have when we can’t say how we feel. We create arguments that end up usually being about nothing….other than we don’t know how to express our emotions logically, because we often times don’t understand one another. It’s easier then saying we really need to feel loved.
Why is it so hard to say what we want? To get through to one another?
It’s a personal goal to share what I’ve learned, because it’s fascinating and because if we worked towards understanding the disconnect (ego and pride aside) than that picture looks a lot different. It looks like what we all want, eventually. So how do we learn to understand one another when emotions are involved? We know that men and women are different, but do we really know what that means.
I was having a conversation with a male friend and he reacted to something I said indifferent to what I was trying to communicate. It took me a minute but I recognized the disconnect. He heard what I was saying in a negative way and it wasn’t meant to make him feel that way at all. I said something along the lines of “Please don’t get defensive…” I asked him what his thoughts were and we immediately cleared the air and moved forward. What a revelation!
We weren’t handed a guidebook to life, so how would we know how to be in a long-lasting, LOVING relationship without constant misunderstandings. We don’t recognize the dance of disconnecting and reconnecting or how to repair it. We forget the importance of tuning in and being aware. We bring our “issues” and problems home and we fight with each other about the things that our partner has nothing to do with. Then we blame each other and the cycle continues, no one grows.
So overall, how do we recognize the issue? How do we deal with this? And more importantly, how do we move forward in a positive light? (This can be applied to our love life, of course, as well as many other relationships we have in our lives).
This post is a preface to a series that hopefully can shed some light on how we can change and enhance our relationships. Answers from scientists, Doctor’s; the real love specialists, as well as personal experience and much more. Science can only go as far as test until we become the test subject in a reality scenario, and like many of you, I have been the subject and I am very hopeful that we can find a Way Back into Love.
CHECK back soon for my next blog post!