If I could choose one key factor to discard from clients’ “checklists” that could be getting in the way of their romantic fulfillment, it is what I coined, “geographical discrimination”. I understand we are all very busy and that it is a challenge to rearrange our schedules to accommodate anything new into our lives (especially a relationship), but being successful at falling in love requires being open-minded, and making room for that person. When I say “open-minded”, I want to specify that my definition of that is really expanding your criteria – especially trivial factors that can normally be compromised on if two people are really devoted to each other.
One of these aspects I firmly believe should be allowed some flexibility is distance and geographical limitations. That is commonly an area considered “non-negotiable” with our clients, but consider that our clients’ common thread is singledom, so…just think about it.
I feel I am allowed a strong opinion on this topic for two reasons: one, I have successfully matched two clients from a distance who are together to this day, and second, I am in a long distance relationship myself – and happier than ever.
The two clients I introduced could not have been from more diverse backgrounds, nor did either ever fathom that they would consider dating from a distance, let alone make the compromises in the end necessary to do so. She was a born and bred LA/Westside girl, cosmopolitan to her core living on energetic Sunset Blvd., and he was a Scottsdale, Arizona, ranch-raised horse breeder living in the wide open desert. He flew out to LA to meet her at my urging and after one incredible first date and nine months of back-and-forth visits, she left her life in LA behind and moved in with him, changing careers and lifestyles completely. They are still together to this day, and she absolutely loves her new surroundings.
I hear people in Los Angeles and Orange County comment about how far away they are from either area, especially when they are considering the commute time during rush hour, which naturally leads them to reject the notion of dating someone “out of their area.” And it is surprising to me that there are even some who will not consider meeting a fabulous match in the valley if they live on the Westside! Sure, traffic is frustrating and ideally your perfect match would live right next door, but what part of life isn’t without a little hard work? Is finding your perfect match always supposed to be effortless and without sacrifice? Says who? I can tell you right now that not everyone’s true love is living within 15-30 driving miles from them. Sorry, but I think that’s just a tad…lazy, to be perfectly honest with you. There are plenty of ways to make a relationship work from 50 miles away if a couple can do it from thousands of miles. So start getting creative.
If two people genuinely care for one another, I firmly believe they will figure it out. Sure, it isn’t an easy decision, or a seamless adjustment, but you can and should make any sacrifice necessary for the right person as long as both parties are willing to negotiate. No distance is too far for true love – it just takes two very strong, dedicated people, a genuine love, faith and a willingness to surrender control a little. You just have to know that the distance isn’t forever, and be flexible enough to compromise the outcome together as a couple.